I don't get it. I save lives; I ride a cool bike; I even look good in leather. Why can't I score with the ladies?
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Let me set the record straight. No, I'm not dead. I'm fully corporeal. I have no idea why people call me "Ghost" Rider.
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Sure Hell's hot, but it's a dry heat... so it's not as bad.
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My flaming head has nothing to do with a curse. It's an extreme case of Bieber fever.
SECRET…
I can't remember a time when my farts weren't explosive.
SECRETS!
I tried the hero thing for a while, but they told me they already had enough Spider-Man/Batman mashups.
I once got off on a murder rap using the bantha defense. "It was cold that night, your honor! I would have frozen to death!" Chump.
I decided to go with slippers because I AM A DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN!
This costume is a Herbie Popnecker original. I traded him for some magic lollipops.
You think you're so great, ARTHUR. I been rockin' this bident for YEARS.
The number five is cursed on my planet.
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The girls say I look like a Ken doll. Awwww baby, you can be my Barbie.
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My favorite word? hussyfskap.
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I learned the laundry trade while in intergalactic prison. I've become the George Jefferson of Colu.
SECRETS!
The worst thing about only having 4 fingers is that it's harder to do card tricks. Fucking Gambit...
I was the highest rated reality show on Mojoworld for 16 seasons. Until a scandal ruined my goodwill with the audience.
If I have any regrets, it's hooking up with Dazzler that one time. Bitch be trippin'! (That's the right way to say that, right?)
The star on my jacket represents a fiery inferno, like after Storm would make chili.
I'm 1/4 pheasant on my father's side. That makes what we used to do at night on the farm illegal in 47 states.
In honor of our new banner, this week LEMUR Comics Blog presents the secrets of everyone’s favorite demigod.
Ironically, Greek and Mediterranean food does not sit well with me.
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He-Man and I were roommates in between August of '87 and June of '92.
μυστικός…
Believe it or not, I always use protection. I had to learn the hard way after a particularly rowdy orgy on Olympus in 787 B.C.
μυστικός…
Why go everywhere without a shirt? Some villains and henchmen are so uncomfortable with their sexuality that they don't put up a fight when a hairy muscular man charges at them.
μυστικός
I once got so drunk I was sober. Unfortunately it meant I remembered every moment spend praying at the porceline throne.
SECRETS!!!
I flip a coin to decide whether or not to masturbate too.
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I called myself "Harvey Apollo" in the comic strips to shake a paternity suit.
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Sometimes I spend hours staring at the mirror imagining that my scars are on the other side of my face.
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Gilda and I roleplay sometimes. She's the prima ballerina of a dance company, and I'm the corrupt and horribly scarred technical director.
SECRET…
Like a chameleon, the scarred side of my face changes depending on my surroundings.
SECRETS!
Polly and I spent a week on the USS Flagg one night.
They gave me an anchor as a weapon to show Cobra I MEAN BUSINESS!
You know what's under this beard? Another fist.
I auditioned for the Village People, but apparently I couldn't join because it conflicted with Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
I CANNOT believe they didn't want to put me in the movie!
Opposites DON'T attract. Which is unfortunate because of this enormous tail I'm packing.
Once I really embraced that symbiote I discovered what a treat brains could be! Now I don't go a day without them.
This costume is what you get when you trust your wardrobe to J. Jonah Jameson.
Once I walked in on Sandman and Hydro-Man "sharing a moment". It was beautiful, man.
The best thing about being in the Thunderbolts? Norman Osborn is VERY aware of his freaky hair. He always let me use it for scrubbing when it was my night to do dishes.
I spent most of the 1970's "detecting" blow. I had a real nose for news back then.
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Sometimes people confuse me for Will Magnus, and sometimes I have to kick a person's teeth in.
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I had a choice once: spend a night getting to third base with Pat Nixon's sister or file my story on Watergate. I have no regrets.
Secrets…
I miss the days when we could smoke and drink scotch on live tv.
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I once investigated a brothel as part of my TV detecting. I left whore unturned.
SECRETS!
I got booted from Third Earth Junior High after using the Sight Beyond Sight to cheat on a test.
Panthro makes the best ribs. Out of lizardmen.
Snarf manages to get it in the litter box about 40% of the time.
Tigra never really did much because of an old war injury. Which apparently kept him from being useful AFTER the war, too.
When I say "Thundercats, ho!" it's really a direct reference to Cheetara.
