Unfortunate dears,
Mere caprice led you to doom,
Enjoy this moment.
Author Archives:
The… NSFW… List
As promised this weeks list is the poll winner: Superheroes that are also entries on Urban Dictionary. Turns out there are quite a few actual entries on Urban Dictionary that are comic and superhero related. As you might expect, most of them are graphically (frequently offensively) related to sex. Soooo… I’ll post links to the safe entries here, and I’ll leave you to look up the others on your own… take offense at your own risk.
Trust me on this one gang; this is nothing you want to know.
X-Men
Wonder Woman
Human Torch
Wolverine
Invisible Woman
Green Lantern
Captain America*
Optimus Prime
Cobra Commander
* This was the only non-sexual, non-comic related entry on Cap. An advanced technique of table hockey, in which a player throws his or her mallet, similar to how Captain America throws his shield, at an unprotected puck lying close to the opposing player’s goal. Opinions on the legality of this technique vary: some say the mallet crossing the halfway line is an illegal move, but others contend that while the mallet is in motion, the throwing player’s hands do not cross the line.
“Dude, you just Captain America’d that ho!”
Do not look up Doc Ock.. you will hate yourself.
Snapper Carr… Secrets
I've always seen myself as a low-rent Rick Jones.
secret…
Sometimes when the team was on a mission, I'd sit at the big table and put the Atom's chair in my mouth. Dunno why...just 'cuz.
Secret…
These days I fight different battles against the enemies of tooth decay and GINGIVITIS as Dr. Lucas Carr, D.D.S.!
Secret…
The whole snapping thing... it's a nervous response to a desire to pick my nose.
SECRET…
My life is so full of regrets and bad decisions... like that time I slept with Cheetah.
SECRETS!
Monday Haiku
‘Neath the cool soil
Burns such a fertile hatred
As to sprout madness.
The Man Cave of Steel: A LIST
Superman’s Fortress of Solitude as often been described as a haven where the man of steel can cut loose and be himself. Most iterations feature an exotic zoo, a laboratory, and a trophy room. In recent years the arctic sanctuary received a face lift and expansion thanks to tesseract technology. How is the Metropolis Marvel filling all of that new space?
Marvel a the world's longest junk drawer!
A 5,000 seat arena for illegal polar bear fights.
Two turntables and a microphone, so DJ Big S can work out his fat beats
A 1:1 scale representation of the Fortress of Solitude.
17,000 head of cattle and a replica of the Rio Grande
Fizzy Lifting Drink
Spare capes. Curiously, no spare outer-briefs.
Only the odd-numbered Star Trek movies
A refrigerator with a jar of capers and a half jar of green olives.
A room full of instruments that Clark has started to learn to play, but never picked up after the third lesson… it’s a pretty big room.
Dick Cheney's old heart is now kept in the FoS.
A Grammartorium
Every issue of Cat Fancy since 1962
Game Tape
This week sees a couple of arcs ending as well as the beginning of the end for a guilty pleasure. So let’s go to the tape for the review…
The Boys #65
Man oh man, everything that The Boys has been about is essentially revealed and wrapped with this issue. More so than most any other issue, this one is a splatter fest. But the readers now know everything. If you’ve been paying close attention, and I wasn’t, the reveal shouldn’t be a great shock. I was caught off guard, but I picked up pretty quickly. So it’s done right? Nope, Ennis is giving us one more arc to serve as a coda/ aftermath. Certain actions dictate that there will be Hell to pay.
With Action Comics vol. 2 #8 we see an end to the Brainiac arc. Three things to note here.
1. I love Morrison’s Lex Luthor. He is as much an embodiment of his times as Byrne’s version was in the 1980′s.
2. I’m guessing that this marks the end of Superman as crusader and street level hero. He’s got the suit, he’s got a space fortress, so there’s little chance he’ll be punching gangsters.
3. I’m intrigued by the dwarf that keeps showing up. Every time I see him I’m conflicted between believing he’s a new incarnation of Mr. Mxyzptlk and being convinced he’s something entirely new.
Wolverine and the X-Men #8 is again a fun read with Aaron’s great character moments. Beast is the focus and he is marvelous. Next month we’re being treated to an event tie-in… so… yeah.
That’ll wrap up this week. Check out last week’s edition if you’re curious about my thoughts on A vs. X #1. Turns out Diamond did ship early to some shops. It was Friday before they sent a message to those shops asking them to hold the books until this week. It’s nice see that they’re screwing over all parties involved in the comic distribution system. Maybe events like this will bring about some change.
Game Tape
Books came out, they’ve been read, and here’s what I thought.
I’ve been curious and tempted by A vs X teasers and hype. With issues 0 & 1 out this week (?) my curiosity turns to cynicism and reminds me why I don’t read Bendis anymore. Issue 0 (re)introduces us to Hope and Scarlet Witch in two separate and unconnected stories. It doesn’t bode well for a book when you can sum up a book in two sentences: People really hate Scarlet Witch. A teen with extraordinary powers is rebelling. It took a full issue to dully establish the status quo for the upcoming fracas. The weapons MODOK uses are interesting, but that’s about it.
AvsX #1
Issue #1 showed me that things weren’t going to pick up ergo I would not pick up the other issues. If you’ve seen a Roland Emmerich film, you’ve read the first issue. We get quick views into the status quo of the characters we’re supposed to care for. We are introduced to the crisis via a government council meeting. People talk about stuff related to the impending crisis. Something inexplicably explodes. No. No. No.
The only thing that kept All-Star Western #7 from being great was Dr. Arkham. Why is he still around? The story is set in New Orleans. Nighthawk and Cinnamon are there. Potentially great, but there’s the whining and endlessly prattling character narrating and annoying all. He’s supposed to be a foil for Hex, but he’s not much of anything. Someone pop a cap in him.
If you don’t get the tinglies from the last couple of pages of FF #16, we probably won’t have much to say to each other. The rest of the issue isn’t bad, but those last pages…WOW.
Monday Haiku
Under night’s blanket,
Your children may not be safe
From the hunter’s glare.
Game Tape
Not much I’m excited about this week. So here are three briefs.
Uncanny X-Men #8 is just okay this month. Basically, the story and the dialogue are more boilerplate than I’ve come to expect from Gillen in this series. There’s a prison break, our superhero team is called to wrangle them, and the Avengers show up to lend a hand. The sense of threat and anything really being at stake are negligible. If this issue was intended to show buddy-buddy status quo of the Avengers and X-men pre A vs X, it didn’t do much outside of tell the reader, “Hey we’re both good guys and we’re fighting bad guys together.” At the end of the issue, I was left feeling like I had finished reading a plot outline rather than an actual story.
The main reason I’ve always enjoyed Eric Powell’s works isn’t the (often excessive) potty humor, nor is it seeing a guy punch the hated slack-jaws into submission. The man knows how to tell a story. This has certainly been evident in the last two issues of The Goon. #37 & 38 actually have little to no involvement from our titular character. In spite of this fact, they have been enjoyable. Both issues deal with (literally and figuratively) strong women surviving in the depression era world of The Goon. As much as I’m looking forward to further stories involving people punching, shooting, and knifing the undead, as long as Powell remembers how to tell a good story I’m on board.
Regarding Batman #7: “Court of Owls” needs to end. The song has played too long. This issue’s “revelation” had the impact of a balled up sheet of paper. While the issues aren’t badly written, this Johnsian decompression is giving me the bends.
With this week gone, here’s to better days.
Supergirl… SECRETS!
Remember my "death" during the Crisis? It was a cover story... I was in rehab.
secret…
Ummmm... I don't know if you guys know this but... I'm a 2D fictional character. So don't be so weird. 'Kay?
Secret…
Where's Streaky? He's on a farm in Vermont spending days chasing mice and balls of yarn. I'm told he's happy.
Secret…
The best thing about being Supergirl? I get into Justin Bieber concerts for free.
SECRET…
A lot of people want to know how Lex and I handled the physical intimacy in our relationship back in the 1990's.
SECRETS!!
